What if I Don't Want to Hold On?
by PaigeMariexoxo
Summary: Leah on Valentine's Day. AH, AU. '"Happy Valentine's Day, Leah," he murmured. And in that instant, Leah knew she would be okay.' Made for the Twilove Contest by xxx.-.yannii.


**AN: Made for the Twilove Contest hosted by xxx.. Leah centric. Not sure which category. I tried looking for the different ones, but I couldn't find them anywhere. I guess it figures though- writing this the day it's due. Psshh. I just couldn't think of anything good. Enjoy! (:**

"Leah, please!" Alice begged Leah as she jumped up and down, Bella and Rosalie standing behind her. Leah was sitting in the kitchen, refusing to move an inch with a stubborn look on her face.

Alice was trying to convince Leah to go to the ice skating rink with the rest of them for Valentine's Day. Leah was being her stubborn self and refusing to move.

"Allie, I can't even skate. Please don't keep begging me. I'll be fine just sitting her alone," she pouted. She tried to smile a little bit, to help her argument. But she couldn't force the sides of her face to go up. They liked to stay down much, much better. Ever since Sam, that's all they had been doing.

Alice glared at Bella and Rosalie, silently blackmailing them into helping her get Leah out of the house. Bella quickly moved forward, not wanting to face the wrath of Alice. Rosalie was much less scared of Alice, but also moved forward anyway. The sooner, the better. The quicker Rosalie saw Emmett, the less chance someone was going to get hurt. The two were like an unstoppable force of nature. If they wanted to be together, they were going to be together and _fast. _Leah was not making this anywhere near easy.

"Leah," Bella tried. "You'll have fun. What could be better then quality time with your best friends?" Leah just stared blankly at Bella.

"You listen here, Missy. Today is Valentine's Day and you are _not _spending it moping around the house. Now either you get up right this second, or Allie, Bella and I will carry you all the way to the ice rink," Rosalie said firmly, but she had a small smile on her face. They all loved Leah immensely, but she was making this much more difficult then it had to be.

Leah sighed and slowly slid off the high chair and grabbed her jacket from the back of the chair. "Not so fast, Leah. You need to change into something more guy friendly and I need to fix your hair quick," Alice quickly said. Leah rolled her eyes and followed Alice back to her bathroom.

Leah knew that they all loved her, as she loved them. They were the sisters she never had, the ones that were always there for her through thick and thin. But she didn't really see the point in making her look all pretty to go ice skating. Leah was not interested in any guys. And if any were interested in her, they better jump off a cliff before they approached her. Boys were untrustable, unreliable creatures bound to break your heart a million times.

Alice freshened up a couple of Leah's curls, and sprayed hairspray on each of them individually to make them look beautiful. Not to say Leah wasn't pretty- she was- Alice was just accenting her beauty so that Leah looked like a model. It took all of five minutes- Alice was fast if she had to be at these type of things. After applying some minimal makeup, Alice shoved a pile of clothes into Leah's arms and quickly exited the room.

Leah emerged minutes later, looking gorgeous. Her skin was tan and even, her eyes intense and bold looking. Her clothes were classic and simple, which made her beauty even more apparent. Dark wash jeans, a white lace camisole with a red v-neck sweater over top. She had a white knit cap on top of her messy curls, and red knit boots on her feet. Her beauty could have rivaled Rosalie's.

Alice smiled happily as she admired her work. Leah was breathtakingly beautiful, and Alice knew that all of the guys at the ice rink would drool profusely over her. Leah was unaware of this fact as she pulled on her coat. "Lee Lee, you look amazing!"

Leah winced as Alice said 'Lee Lee.' That's what Sam had called her. Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam... Where'd you go?

"Please, let's just go," Leah begged softly as everyone fell silent after Alice's comment.

"Sure," Rosalie agreed. They exited the apartment and piled into Rosalie's convertible.

Bella spoke up after several moments of silence. "Are we picking up Jasper, Edward and Emmett?"

"Nope," Alice answered. "They're meeting us there. We figured it would be too crowded if we all rode in here."

"Oh."

They rode in slightly uncomfortable silence while Leah chewed over Alice calling her Lee Lee. Why had Alice done that? Couldn't she see Leah was hurting? Leah went over the same questions again and again until the car stopped and Bella pulled Leah out of the car. Once Leah was standing, they all cornered her.

"Leah," Alice spoke softly and sincerely. "Please try to have fun. We all love you, and we just want you to be happy. Please, please try. It hurts us all to see you like this. We don't want you to be sad anymore."

A single tear fell down Leah's face. She swiped it away. "I know," was all she said.

They walked inside the breezy ice rink and Leah saw Edward, Jasper, and Emmett waiting for the girls with Valentine's presents. Emmett was holding a giant teddy bear, Edward was holding chocolate and roses- traditional Valentine's Day presents. Jasper had a small velvet box and a small stuffed animal. Alice, Bella and Rosalie squealed in excitement.

Rosalie ran up to Emmett and leaped into his arms. He chuckled and hugged her tightly. Bella walked over to Edward, and gave him a sweet kiss. Leah looked away- the amount of love in that kiss made her sick to her stomach.

Leah's eyes searched for something else. She settled on Alice dancing up to Jasper and hugging him softly. He smiled beautifully, and pecked her on the lips. Alice giggled happily. Jasper's expression changed to nervous, and Leah wondered what was up with him.

She didn't have to wait longer then ten seconds before Jasper slowly bent down and got down on one knee. Alice immediately started started to cry. I didn't have to be a mind reader to know what was happening. It already happened with Bella and Rosalie, and now Jasper followed suit.

"Mary Alice Brandon, I've never loved someone as much as you. _Never._ You're pain is my pain; when you cry, I cry. And when you are happy, I am happy. I want to make you happy forever. Please marry me," Jasper whispered.

Alice choked out an answer. "Oh god yes. Of course, Jazzy!" she sobbed.

A tear slid down Leah's cheek as she watched the happy engagement. She couldn't take this any longer. How many times could a person be hurt and expected to pull themselves together again?

She ran out of the stupid ice rink, tears falling steadily down her face as she jogged without knowing where she was heading. She ran and ran, and never looked back. She didn't want to go back; back to where everyone was happily engaged and had wonderful boyfriends and great lives.

The scene of the engagement played back into Leah's mind a thousand times before she finally ran out of breath and fell to the ground. She was full-out sobbing now, curled up into a ball near the cliffs of La Push.

Minutes later that seemed like hours, Leah tried to pull herself back together. _People love you, _she reminded herself. _People love you,_ she repeated as she crawled nearer to the cliffs. _People love you!_ she screamed at herself inside her head. But really, did people love her? If Leah was lovable, Sam would have never left her. What if, what if. What if? There were too many to count. So many what if's were streaming inside her mind. What if Leah was beautiful? What if Leah hadn't been a bitch to Sam? What if? What if?

She shakily got to her legs and brushed the dirt off her jeans._ She could do this. _

Looking down into the rushing water below the cliffs, Leah tried to balance herself on the very edge of the cliff. Her feet were dangerously close to the edge, and Leah's heart was racing as she teetered on the edge of the cliff. She closed her eyes and tried to slow her breathing. In, out. In, out. Again and again Leah did this, trying to be calm. Jumping off the cliff wouldn't really kill her, would it? She might just get injured, the was all. But deep down inside, she wondered if she would really die. And she wasn't sure if that's what she wanted to do. She wasn't sure of anything anymore.

But she was going to do this.

"Please don't," a shaken voice called behind her. Leah gasped in surprise and almost lost her balance on the cliff. The stone broke off beneath her feet and fell away. Leah stumbled and hung onto the cliff with one hand.

"Help me," she cried to the stranger. Now that she was staring death in the face, she didn't want it. Oh god, she didn't want it. _She wanted to live._

_"_Hold on," the stranger said through his teeth. He crawled over to the edge of the cliff, and carefully grasped Leah's hand. "Hold on," he repeated. Leah held onto his hand with all she had in her. She needed to live.

The stranger gripped Leah's hand and slowly but carefully pulled her up to steady ground.

_She was safe. _And because of that fact alone, she cried. She cried for everything and nothing at all. She cried for her friends, she cried for her family. And mostly, she cried for herself.

"Don't cry," the stranger begged her. "Please."

She looked up from the wet ground and into the unknown person's eyes. They were a warm brown that intrigued her.

"Who are you?" she whispered.

"Jacob," he told her. _Jacob._ It sounded so right.

"Leah," she said to him.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Leah," he murmured. And in that instant, Leah knew she would be okay.


End file.
